He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
