I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
