Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
