Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
