My brain says no but my pants say off.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
