She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
