I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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