It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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