I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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