is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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