Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
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