real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
