"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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