I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
it's like iHOP with fire
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
