I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
