Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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