guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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