We won't sleep together?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
