I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
