Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
