People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
