So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
