I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
