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I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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