Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
