My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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