Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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