I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
