So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
