some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize