i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
