the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
