i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
