Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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