508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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