i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
