I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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