can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Can Purell be used as lube?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
