he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
