so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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