For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
