oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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