Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
