Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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