Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
