I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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