So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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