I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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