Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize