I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
false alarm, still single
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
