i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
