Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
