i need an iv and a liver transplant
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i will never coherently bang her
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
