Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
