She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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