these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize