I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
