Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize