her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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