Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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