Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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