How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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