So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
