bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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