Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Randomize
