So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
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