no, he came in my armpit
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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