I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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