I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
