She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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